In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You know you’re a Redneck…” routine, my son and I decided to try and come up with funny ways of knowing when your stomach is too big. We aren’t comedians (we only came up with 5)…as you can tell…but hell…we had some time on our hands…especially now that I’m not stuffing my face most of the day!!!
So…you know your stomach’s too big…
…when bending over to tie your shoes forces you to make a noise that sounds like a slipping fan belt.
…when targeting the urinal is based on memory rather than actual line of sight (for guys only…I hope).
…when your belt becomes more a tool for keeping your stomach above your waist than as a way to keep your pants on.
…when you start using your stomach as a keyboard rest cushion.
…when it becomes possible to use your belly button as a cup holder.