The Embarrassment Begins

Holy Sh*t…I am huge…but we will get to that!!!

I am not going to use any fad diets, or any structured plan..no South Beach, Long Beach, Venice Beach, Virginia Beach, or any other “Beach Diet.” No grapefruit, banana, or smoothie only diet. No pureed liver and onion diet. Not gonna use Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Atkins, Pritikin…in fact any diet you see listed here I am not gonna use.

What I am going to do is very simple…I am going to eat less calories than I burn. And of those calories, no more than 30% will be from fat. So easy why didn’t I do that before you ask?….well this is the reason

and this…

and of course….this

Ok…here we go (buries head in shame)…I weigh two hundred and ninety f’in pounds…..yes you read that right I weigh 290 pounds. Now I am 6′ 3″ so it isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, which makes no difference…I am huge, and at my age approaching dangerously huge.

My goal: 200 pounds….so yes I need to lose 90 pounds!!!

How am I gonna get there?

I am going to try and eat no more that 1800 calories a day, of which no more than 600 will be from fat. I am going to try and start exercising more…and when confronted with one of the above foods, after turning it down, throwing it away, or not buying it in the first place…I will flop onto my bed for a good cry (just kiddin…I don’t cry…but I will flop on my bed damnit)…but I won’t eat the evil thing!!

Tonight I will think of a name for this diet…something hard edged and confrontational…like the “Bite Me” Diet…come to think of it I kind of like that one…name it using the activity that caused me to have to diet in the first place!! Ok, no, I won’t be thinking about it tonight…I have decided on the “Bite Me” Diet.

Jim

Tomorrow: The “Bite Me” Diet begins!

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2 Responses to The Embarrassment Begins

  1. John Daniels says:

    nice job on the blog also I will be watching you so you better not slip up. But I will also reward you for your triumphs.

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